Then I slowly realize one of these assholes can become president in a year.
That’s why I don’t feel the slightest bit of sympathy for these idiots when they slip up or do something stupid. They’re running for public office. If you don’t know what you’re talking about now, you definitely don’t deserve to be up there then.
“I think the point people are trying to make is the media is responsible for JoePa going down.” — Penn State freshman on why it was totally okay to overturn a news broadcast truck. DOUCHENOZZLE POINTS (from 1-10): 9.
“We got rowdy, and we got maced. But make no mistake, the board started this riot by firing our coach. They tarnished a legend.” 19-year-old Penn Stater, who apparently fails to realize that covering up criminal sexual activity is actually what tarnishes a legend. DOUCHENOZZLE POINTS: 10.
“It’s not fair. The board is an embarrassment to our school and a disservice to the student population.” — 20-year-old Penn Stater, who is apparently not embarrassed that an assistant coach on his school’s football team raped young boys. DOUCHENOZZLE POINTS: 11.
“This definitely looks bad for our school. I’m sure JoePa wouldn’t want this, but this is just an uproar now, we’re finding a way to express our anger.” — Freshman Penn Stater, who is good at stating the obvious and being contradictory all at once. DOUCHENOZZLE POINTS: 12.
“Of course we’re going to riot. What do they expect when they tell us at 10 o’clock that they fired our football coach?” — 24-year-old Penn Stater, who probably didn’t riot when he found out Joe Paterno’s lieutenant raped little boys. DOUCHENOZZLE POINTS: 15.
“My friends were like, ‘I don’t want to get maced.’ I was like, ‘I don’t want to miss seeing this, so I guess that means I do kind of want to get maced.’” — Freshman Penn Stater, who I hope was maced. DOUCHENOZZLE POINTS: 8.
We set our clocks back one hour on Sunday night, meaning that an extra hour is added to that specific night. I work overnight on Sunday. That means I will be working an extra hour. At 2am it will become 1am again… this is kind of bullshit.